Our First Holiday With Our Toddler - What We Learned & Loved - Love Beyond Biology: Our UK Adoption & Parenthood Journey

I write our first holiday with our toddler just before our second holiday as a family of three. We booked another short UK break not long after our first one. Partly because we’ll never get this precious time back, and partly because, for the first time in a long time, we felt confident that we could all manage it. Seven months post-placement, we finally understood what worked for us as a new family. And so, we went for it.

For years, we dreamed of this. A break away, just the three of us (plus some very special extended family). A chance to make memories that we had longed for and truthfully, grieved, for so many years. Adoption is not a straight path, but a winding, uncertain one. To reach a point where a holiday even felt possible was something I don’t take lightly. So off we went.

If you’re interested in how we’ve navigated post placement life and adoption leave you might like Adoption Leave in the UK: What it’s Really Like and Our First Week as a Family of Three.

Why We Chose a UK Staycation

When we booked the trip, the Adoption Order hadn’t yet been granted. That meant going abroad wasn’t even an option, legally or emotionally. And even if it had been, the truth is, we didn’t want to risk too much change too soon.

We knew that keeping things as consistent and comforting as possible was vital. Our daughter had worked so hard to settle into life with us. She is now truly secure in our home and our rhythm. So we made a conscious choice: stay in the UK, go somewhere peaceful, and focus entirely on togetherness.

Packing for a Toddler: A Whole New Experience

One thing that truly surprised us was just how much we had to take. Holidays used to be a suitcase and we’re-off kind of thing, now it’s a full car boot and a checklist longer than our travel itinerary! We brought her Toniebox, which is honestly one of the best things we’ve ever invested in, familiar stories like helped settle in the car and during downtime in the evenings. As it was our first break, we did over pack. I took everything I thought would help ensure a sense of familiarity. Her white noise & light machine, something that’s been a sleep essential since day one. Of course, her favourite blanket and teddy came too, little anchors that helped her feel safe in a new place.

Next time, I’ll be even more intentional with what we pack and not go overboard. I’ll focus on essentials, but also the little comforts that help her feel regulated and connected.

The First Night

I want to tell you this trip was perfect. And in many ways, it really was. But I also want to be honest.

That first night was hard. Really hard.

She was used to her own room, her own bed, her own little space of calm. Suddenly, we were all together in one unfamiliar room, a different cot, and unfamiliar shadows on the ceiling. And it was too much.

She was so unsettled. She cried and clung. We cried too. We were all exhausted and overwhelmed and silently questioning if this had been a mistake. At one point, I genuinely wanted to pack up and go home. I felt like an awful mum.

Eventually, she fell asleep in my arms. And I just held her. Breathed with her. Let her know that even here, in this strange place, she was safe. We weren’t going anywhere.

Settling In

The second night was much better but she was still a little unsettled, by the third night, something shifted. She started to understand that this space, too, could be safe. She went to sleep without tears, without protest. We managed to creep into bed without waking her, and I allowed myself to relax.

If she did wake in the night, it took a little longer to settle, our presence seemed to both comfort and stimulate her. That was a learning moment for us. Next time, if we can, we’ll always try to make sure she has her own space to sleep. We’ve planned ahead for our next trip, a lodge with two bedrooms, just for that reason. I did take The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting, it’s my go-to when I need gentle, on-the-go reminders for those trickier moments. I’ve written Our Top 10 Adoption Books for All Stages of the Process if you would like to know our favourite reads.

The Joy of Being Together

We didn’t travel alone, we went with our parents and my sister & brother in law. And what a blessing that was.

Our daughter adores them. Over the last seven months, she’s formed strong, joyful bonds with them all. To see her run into their arms, giggle through games, and babble stories and songs at the dinner table filled my heart in ways I can’t quite explain.

We often talk about “the village” it takes to raise a child, and for adoptive families, that village becomes even more vital. She’s not just building connection with us, but with everyone who shows up consistently, patiently, and lovingly. And our family? They show up.

How Holidays Have Changed — Beautifully So

Before becoming parents, our holidays looked very different. We’d fill our days with long hikes, hours of exploring, fancy meals out, and the kind of spontaneity you take for granted when it’s just two of you. This time, we swapped hilltops for butterfly farms, coast paths for petting zoos, and fine dining for ice creams at the park. There were no big nights out, just early nights in, filled with bedtime routines, familiar lullabies, and the comfort of sameness. Nap schedules shaped our days, we bought a snoozeshade so she could nap in her buggy. We stuck to food patterns that made her feel safe and secure. And truthfully, we wouldn’t change a thing. These slower, smaller moments hold just as much magic, if not more.

What We’d Do Differently Next Time

No trip is perfect, especially not you’re first as a newly formed family. And that’s okay. Here’s what we learned:

Sleep setups matter: If your little one is used to their own room, try to recreate that as much as possible. Separate bedrooms, black-out blinds, their usual sleep aids, it all helps.
Stick to routines (mostly): We kept bedtime the same, used her usual bath products, brought her pillow and soft toys. Those small familiarities helped her feel grounded.
Don’t over-plan: We left most days unstructured. That allowed us to follow her lead, when she was energised, we explored. When she needed calm, we stayed in and played.
Give grace, to them and to yourself: Big feelings are part of this journey. There’s no failure in hard moments. There’s just learning.

Looking Ahead

Our next little break is booked, a lodge with two bedrooms, a bit more space, and the wisdom of experience behind us. We feel ready in a way we didn’t before. Not because it will be easier (though it might), but because we know what matters most.

It’s not about smooth schedules or perfect outings. It’s about us. the three of us, learning each other in every new place, again and again.

Final Thoughts

This week will always be one of my most treasured memories. Not because everything went perfectly, but because we were together. Because we chose to try. Because we didn’t give up on the first night, even when it was tempting to.

We made it through. We made amazing memories. And we made more space in our hearts for what family really means. One imperfect, beautiful week at a time.

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UK Charities Supporting Adoptive Families

Adoption UK — Peer support, webinars, family meet-ups
PAC-UK — Therapy, training, education for adopters
We Are Family — Honest, heartfelt community spaces
CoramBAAF — Insight and research on adoption in the UK
Family Rights Group — Advocacy and advice for families in the care system

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