Parenthood: Embracing Change, Finding Strength & Holding Love - Love Beyond Biology: Our UK Adoption & Parenthood Journey

Today’s blog post is a little different — it’s written by my husband, Mitchell. He wanted to share his own reflections on adoption, fatherhood and how relationships change and grow.

Here’s his take on how life really changes when you become a parent through adoption…

Life will change and that’s okay, probably more than you think… This beautiful and innocent life will walk into your world and flip it upside down in the most incredible way. You’ll experience the joys of bonding with them, hearing “mummy” or “daddy” for the first time, feeling their hand grab yours, maybe catch their first word, and feeling that moment when they fully trust you. These moments are everything. You’ll adapt and settle into whatever routine works for your child.

What might surprise you is how much you could momentarily grieve your old life, the routines you used to have, the hobbies you now have less time for. That’s a normal part of the transition.

This isn’t a warning in any way, it’s just awareness: it might happen. But life doesn’t stop, it shifts. You learn to make space for what matters now.

Becoming a parent shifts that freedom, it becomes less about spontaneity, and more about intention. When your child arrives, that freedom changes. You can still do what you want, within reason, and often how you want, if routines and timing allow. But when you want? Not really. And honestly, that’s okay. You adapt, and in doing so, you grow.

What matters is not losing yourself in the process, both as an individual and as a couple, and staying connected to yourself is not only possible, it’s important. That’s why making time for yourself and each other is important too. And we try to do that, even if it’s just a cup of tea after bedtime, or a walk together at the weekend. It can be easy to slip into parenting mode full-time, but finding even small windows to connect as a couple really matters.

For me, I love going for a run and playing football once a week. I still try to do that, as long as it fits with life as it is now, and with what our beautiful Willow needs. I’m sharing this because I wish someone had said it to me, it’s okay if it feels big.

I’ve felt the intensity of such a significant change, and I think it helps to hear it’s normal to struggle and feel this way sometimes. Would I go back and change it? No way. I’ve loved every minute of it, even the hard ones, because they’re part of the story too.

For more support on this Adoption UK have some great factsheets that provide guidance if needed.

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